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Unfriending Facebook: Day 4

2/19/18 – Monday

The morning felt sluggish. I don’t know how my friends are. I feel a huge urge to reactivate the account. I feel like emailing everyone I know, telling them I miss them…

I feel sad.

The downtime I would usually spend scrolling, catching up with people and seeing what things are making my friends happy or frustrated that day felt really rough the first Monday without Facebook.

I was, however, able to get caught up on the news, thanks to The Skim that aggregates the big news in bite sized portions without too much overload. I kept informed without too many details that would send me into a spiral of obsession and anxiety.

I got into no online arguments, mostly because I had no contact with anyone. So it’s a net push.

I thought a lot about art. Did a little sketching. Planned out some pieces I wanted to paint. I felt cagey that I couldn’t do art that very second.

Frankly, I feel cagey full stop.

A friend sent a screen shot of some drama on FB. It was like someone offering a recovering alcoholic a Jack and Coke. I started to feel upset at the discontent of the friend that posted. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to defend people. The hubs said I should not so politely ask the copy paste-r to cut it out. I feel like a child calling myself an addict to Facebook. But that hit of the old drug sent me quickly back into the feeling that I needed to jump back online and fix the problem.  Thankfully, I did not.

My mind has been adrift and out of focus and it felt like the day slipped away from me.

I got home, took care of the kids. and crashed. There was some D&D in there, though the game was short two of the four players. But all in all it was a great rp session, even if my brain felt fuzzy.

I wanted to know how my people were.

I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I’m still a junkie.

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